Shaman University
by The Number 90
Summary: Yoh and Co. are attending classes at Shaman U, where they meet shamans and people of different races and styles! There they learn life can be a lot weirder than fiction. -non yaoi pairings, some insanity, drug, X-rated stuff reference(ONLY haha)


**Shaman University**

By: WiLDSTRiKER

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. If I did, I wouldn't put a disclaimer, would I?

…

Yoh Asakura walked lazily up to the tremendous bronze gates that stood before him. Inscriptions in a strange writing covered the entire gate, casting a protective veil around it. He raised an eyebrow, rapped his knuckles against it, and shrugged.

"Okay guys, looks like we can't go any further so let's just head back to that fast food joint we passed by on our way here!"

He said in his trademark cheery and nonchalant voice, a goofy smile plastered all over his face.

The Chinese shaman Tao Ren sighed and pulled up his long-handled kwandao into a fighting stance, igniting it with the force of his spirit energy. His golden eyes narrowed in concentration and he charged the gates, furyoku unleashed.

"Let's see how well this gate holds up to my furyoku!" Ren roared, driving his kwandao deep into the center of the bronze fortifications.

An invisible hand promptly swatted him to the side.

Horo Horo and Yoh whistled in awe and stared at their fallen friend, who, bristling with indignation, was now profusely spewing curse words in his native tongue. The Ainu boy smiled widely and pointed a mocking finger at the defeated Ren. "Ha! Looks like your furyoku couldn't make the cut, shorty! Maybe the wall has an anti-shrimp defense system!"

Horo Horo said, and burst into laughter. Ren, beet red from humiliation, launched himself at the taller, and definitely more irritating blue-haired teenager, but was presently held back by Yoh.

"Hey, cool it! He's just pulling your leg, Ren." Yoh said diplomatically, as the Chinese shaman fought ferociously to get to the Ainu, who was clutching his stomach from excessive laughing.

A quick whack on the head shut him up though and Yoh and Ren stared wide-eyed at the now unconscious Horo Horo, who was sporting a large bump on the back of his head. Anna sighed and rubbed her fist contentedly. "Pirika, could you contain your brother a little more? Next time, I'll just let Ren eat him alive."

Pirika nodded quickly and scooted over to where her brother was drooling all over the ground. The similarly cerulean-haired Ainu girl picked up the unmoving shaman with some effort, then hastily dragged him to a nearby tree, where she propped him up.

Anna folded her arms across her chest and inspected the gates quietly. This was most likely a test of their powers, even if she had no idea how to pass it. After a few minutes, she sighed, defeated and bored with the hunk of metal. She signaled her companions to follow her away from the gate. "Let's go. If this door won't open for us, then I don't think we should wait for it to."

The pink-haired Tamao watched as her companions slowly turned their backs on the wall (with the exception of Horo Horo, who was still knocked out) and bit her lip. She made sure none of them were looking and made her own timid attempt to get it to open.

"Um, could you open up, please?" She mumbled quietly, a little embarrassed with her idea.

Much to her surprise, a voice rang out from the top of the immense gate.

"HEY, SABURO, THEIR'S SOME PEOPLE OUT FRONT WHO WANT TO GET IN! OPEN THE FREAKING GATE WOULD YA?"

"I'M ON IT, HEY! JEEZ, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PUSHY ALL THE TIME!"

Tamao jumped a little, a bit scared, and ran off to where her companions were. She tugged on Yoh's shirt a little, whimpering. "Master Yoh, I think the gate's being opened…"

"Cool! I guess that means no cheeseburgers for me today!" He said in a relaxed voice, and grinned. "Hey Anna, Tamao here opened up the gate for us." The master shaman shouted to his fiancée, and the itako girl raised an eyebrow in response. "Oh really now? That's good. I did want to meet the person who sent us that letter."

Pirika, tired from dragging her elder brother around, panted slightly and turned to face Ren. She quickly picked up the deadweight and handed him over to the shaman. "Hey Ren, can you carry my oniisan for a while? He's killing my back…"

Ren opened his mouth to complain but the Ainu girl had already dashed off to the others. He gritted his teeth and followed anyway, slinging the body of his friend over his shoulder. "Of all the nerve…" He muttered.

"Hey, so if this is really what the letter says it is, are we going to stay for a while?"

Pirika inquired as she caught up to Yoh and the two girls. "That depends." Anna replied.

"I hope we are! The weather's not too nice back at home this time of the year."

"As long as I can continue Yoh's training, I have no problems with staying here. I'll go check with whoever sent us the invitation."

"Anna, that's not right! I'm Shaman King… What more could you ask for from me?"

The chocolate-haired shaman boy protested and Anna glared coldly at him. "I'm making sure your skills are sharp so that when people challenge you for that title, you won't lose it. And if you lose it anyway, I'll just train you harder so you can challenge them for it back."

Yoh sighed and continued walking. Amidamaru appeared beside him and rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Do not worry, Yoh. You can handle Anna's training."

"Wrong, old buddy. Keyword is "Anna's". Nobody can survive that ordeal!"

He laughed, and received a whack on the head as well.

"Anna-sempai's hard on Yoh, don't you think, Pirika-san?" Tamao asked timidly and Pirika laughed in reply. "A bit. But all good shamans have good trainers! Right, oniisan?"

She said, poking the back of her unconscious sibling. Ren snorted. "Good trainers should take care of their wards." He said, looking at the blue-haired Ainu girl resentfully. "This imbecile is already drooling all over my back!"

Pirika stuck her tongue out at the infuriated Ren. With the exception of Anna and Ren of course, the friends laughed cheerily and made their way past the slowly opening gates. Yoh smiled and placed his palms at the back of his head in a relaxed position.

"Now let's see how cool this school is supposed to be!"

…

Moments after they made their way past the giant gates, the six stopped dead in their tracks and took in the awesome sight before them.

They stood at the entrance of a remarkably-sized yard, part well-crafted stone tiles, part immaculately tended fields of grass, and 100 amazing. In the center of the garden lay an equally majestic marble fountain; carved in a depiction of a flowing water spirit and its youthful shaman girl. Stone-covered paths emanated in a cross formation from the fountain and led to buildings that were a testament to laborious work by whoever created them. In the grassy quadrants that were cut out from the rest of the yard by those trails were various facilities, like tennis and basketball court, and right beside them, dozens, maybe a hundred wooden benches and tables. But most amazingly, all of those seats and stadiums were filled with shaman men and women of similar age to the six, accompanied by their spirits of all shapes and sizes.

"HOLY CANOLEY!" Horo Horo, suddenly awake, shouted in awe, still perched on Ren.

The Chinese shaman swore in surprise and threw the Ainu to the ground. "Get off my shoulder, you freeloading idiot!" He snapped, annoyed. Pirika rushed over to her brother, who was woozily getting to his feet. "Are you all right, oniisan?" Horo Horo rubbed his eyes. "I don't know! One moment I'm having a dream, the next I wake up in shaman heaven! Where the heck are we?"

"Shaman University." Anna replied simply. She began walking straight ahead, to where the largest of the stone buildings was standing, right past the fountain. "Let's go chat with the headmaster, shall we?"

The group quickly followed suit, admiring the pristine environment and observing the people around. Almost a fourth of the population of the school seemed to be congregated in one quadrant, cheering on their schoolmates who were battling each other in shaman duels. Yoh scratched the back of his head and laughed. "I'd sure like to try that out sometime!" He said excitedly. Tamao bit her lip and looked up at the shaman king. "But what if you lose, Master Yoh? Won't you forfeit your title?"

Yoh shrugged casually. "Beats me. Ask Silva, or Anna. I'm not really so sure about the terms and conditions of being the single greatest shaman in the universe." He answered in jest, and laughed again. "Besides, I'm more worried about what Anna would do to me if that happened."

He laughed once more time, only this time a lot louder, and soon everyone in the courtyard was staring at the newcomers. The mass of people crowded around them and started whispering about, casting odd glances at the six.

Ren rolled his eyes and hoisted his kwandao on his shoulder. "This is why I was home taught. First days are always so embarrassing." He commented haughtily, deciding to completely ignoring the students surrounding them.

Finally, a voice shouted over the combined murmurs of the student body and pointed to Yoh.

"Hey, that's the Shaman King, Yoh Asakura!"

A deathly silence fell upon the crowd and the six stopped, unsure of what just happened. Then almost simultaneously, the shamans bowed and knelt before them, some even removing their hats. Yoh smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"You know guys, Shaman King isn't really supposed to be translated literally…"

He said and the students got up to their feet, their eyes still on the group.

Anna turned to face her friends and pointed to the door of the building which they were heading to just moments ago. "In a few moments, we are going to be mobbed to death by these people so I suggest we make it inside now." She remarked calmly, although to the six it was more of a drastic command that they definitely had to obey.

In a flash, the friends sprinted for the doorway, as all of a sudden the shamans turned on them, collapsing behind them faster than they expected. Horo Horo, took a quick glance at their pursuers and promptly hastened his run.

"These guys are worse than any avalanche! And I wouldn't wish that on anybody!"

He shouted, just as they entered the building. Ren slammed the door behind them and jammed his long-handled spear into the handles, shutting out the press of people outside. Tamao breathed a sigh of relief and fell to her knees, panting. "T-That was so scary…" Pirika nodded in agreement, also catching her breath. The Ainu girl wiped sweat off her forehead. "I can't believe that just happened… Who knew Yoh would have so much influence as Shaman King?"

"It's just that we haven't seen this many shaman all at once. Aside from that, many of the shamans we know were already acquainted with the group even before Yoh became the king."

Anna replied.

Yoh shook his head in amazement. "Still, you gotta admit, that was pretty cool, right, Anna?"

"Whatever suits you. Now I intend to have a talk with the headmaster of this school."

…

"Headmaster, the Shaman King and his friends have arrived."

A man said courteously, bowing before the presence, back turned away, seated behind the table. A puff of black, acrid smoke wafted from the headmaster's seat. A hand, half-spent cigarette in tow, stretched out from behind the chair and dismissed the servant with a simple wave. The servant promptly opened the mahogany double doors and ushered in the six. The man quickly pulled out seats for all of them and offered it to the guests. With a bow, he exited the room, firmly shutting the door behind him. Another cloud of smoke rose floated wistfully about the room, and the headmaster turned his seat around to face the newcomers.

He slammed his two palms down on the finely crafted table before him and grinned maniacally.

"Hello. I'm Eikichi Onizuka, 32 and still single, official headmaster of the Shaman University you see here!"

He smiled widely and took a puff from his cigarette. He glanced at the dumbstruck teenagers before him and raised an eyebrow. "What? It's not like I put marijuana in this, you know." He said, furtively kicking away a funny smelling box at his feet. "Although if you're looking for some-"

Anna cut him off before he could finish. "Enough of this nonsense. I'd like to hear more about that offer you made us in your letter." She said, composed.

The headmaster's mouth shaped itself into an "O" of understanding. The blonde presently returned his posterior to his luxurious seat, and began picking his nose with his pinky. Pirika and Tamao cringed in disgust.

"Oh yeah, that stuff." He closed his eyes for a moment, slightly raising one lid to look at Yoh, who was smiling nervously. "You're that Shaman King thingy guy, right? You're in my grandfather's will. Yaddi yaddi ya about whoever becomes king should be formally invited to go to his school, which eventually became my dad's, then mine…"

Headmaster Onizuka yawned loudly and casually flicked away a piece of detritus he had collected from his nose. His mouth widened into a sharp, insane grin.

"So now you're here! Waddya say runt, ready to go back to school?"

He reached over the table, still smiling like a lunatic, and stared almost dementedly at the now totally freaked out shaman. He then paused, looked at the other similarly taken aback adolescents (with the exception of the itako), and scratched the back of his head. "And you people too! We even have classes for kids like you bluey, who can only see spirits."

Anna coughed loudly and gave a serious glare to the headmaster. "I'm not sure we should be here. Thank you for your time but-"

"Wait, I haven't told you about our impressive facilities, like our gym with forty different training devices, our 7-kilometer hiking route, twin Olympic-sized swimming pools, sports centers, separate dormitories for guys and girls, fully stocked cafeteria with everything from fast food to French cuisine…" He said quickly, ticking off the amenities on his fingers.

Yoh and Anna both looked at the principal excitedly.

"Fast food?" "7-kilometer hiking route?" They asked, in order.

Horo Horo scratched the side of his head, thinking. "I wonder if their sports center includes snowboarding…" He grinned his own crazy grin. "'Cause that would be so totally cool!"

Ren closed his eyes and thought about it for a while. Forty different training devices should keep him in shape as a warrior. And the cafeteria probably had a lot of milk too. He blinked and turned his head to the right, facing Pirika. "It sounds acceptable. What's your opinion, Pirika?"

The blue-haired girl put a finger to her lips. "I think I'll try it. I've never really been to a school this amazing!" She said excitedly and Ren nodded. He'd never been to a school in the first place.

Tamao fidgeted in her seat and blushed. "I have to do the chores for Master Yoh and Anna, so I guess I have to go if they are…" The shaman in training mumbled quietly. Horo Horo laughed and slapped a hand on her back. "You can't do that, because we'd be in dormitories! I betcha you're really interested in hanging here, right?" The Ainu teased, poking her in the ribs repeatedly.

"Horo-sama, stop it… That tickles..!" She protested.

Yoh looked at his friends and made a pleading face to his fiancée. "So can we go? It seems like he won't charge us anything after all, Anna…" He begged and the itako sighed. "What can I do? I have to take care of you and the others after all."

The headmaster grinned and folded his arms across his chest triumphantly. "Looks like we'll be having six new students then! Ah, the joys of the teaching profession… Anyway, I'll have one of the school help scoot you runts over to wherever you'll be staying!" He scratched the back of his head. "Now scram, I have to call your guardians, notify the nuts who'll be teaching you, etcetera, etcetera…"

Yoh and company walked out of the office, animatedly chatting with each other about their new life in Shaman University. The Shaman King himself was excited, and looked forward to a promising segment of his teenage life.

…

WiLD: End of Chapter 1! For the peepz (if anybody bothered to read this anyway ) who recognized him, headmaster is the star of his own anime show (Great Teacher Onizuka or GTO, go figure). Otherwise, well, his personality was reflected pretty well and nobody needed to now he came from another show, right? ;;; Next chapter, more crossover goodness (the teachers especially), and how the Shaman King gang fits into the big school.

Additional Disclaimer: Speaking of which, I don't own Eikichi Onizuka.


End file.
